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00:00: This episode was sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy.
00:03: Big thanks to Hasu Joe, licensed therapist, and head of clinical operations at BetterHelp.
00:09: Hasu Joe is not my actual therapist and we are not in a therapist-client relationship.
00:15: Also, just because you might hear something on the show that sounds similar to what you're experiencing, beware of self-diagnosis.
00:22: You'll want to find a qualified professional to assess and explore diagnosis if that's important to you.
00:29: Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Louis Howe's former pro athlete
00:34: turned lifestyle entrepreneur. In each week we bring you an inspiring person or message
00:40: to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today.
00:45: Now let the class begin.
00:53: When I really, I've done therapy off and on for the last, I don't know, 10 years,
00:57: but when I really dove in over the last couple of years, it created a sense of peace and freedom
01:04: and clarity that I've never had in my life. And it's continually showing up for me. That doesn't
01:11: mean I don't have stressful moments and anxious thoughts and feelings and overwhelming pressure
01:16: in my life, but I have these tools. And I have a baseline understanding that I am a good person,
01:23: and I don't need to beat myself up anymore. And I don't need to hate myself, and I don't need to
01:27: say nasty things to me because those things don't support me and they don't support the people around me
01:33: and they don't support my dreams. When I did that, you know, I remember when I got
01:38: congruency, I wrote this book in literally like a few months. It's something I was thinking
01:43: about for years, but I didn't have the the peace inside to really create it because I just felt felt like something was off still.
01:52: And it helped me, again, become a New York Time best seller
01:57: and impact a lot of lives and do good things in the world with this message.
02:01: But I wouldn't have been able to do that without therapy and without that support.
02:05: So if people are on the fence about, you know, maybe I've never tried it before
02:10: or maybe I don't know if this is for me, who is online therapy for?
02:16: And what's a good way that can get started a little bit
02:20: if they feel maybe scary of going all the way in.
02:23: Who is it for?
02:24: I mean, it can be for anybody.
02:28: I do think that even my thinking about
02:32: who it's appropriate for and who it's not
02:34: has shifted quite a lot because of the past few years.
02:39: You mentioned earlier that I've been with better help for almost six years.
02:43: That means pre-COVID times, pre-pandemic times.
02:46: I was with this company that was doing something
02:48: at the time that was very strange.
02:51: A lot of providers in the field were very resistant,
02:54: skeptical about the idea of trying to do something
02:57: so intimate through a computer or through your phone or something like that.
03:04: And at the time, I had a lot more hang-ups around who should be using it, who shouldn't.
03:09: But I think we've all learned through the past few years
03:13: that digitally and digital connection creates possibilities for so many things.
03:18: And even research in the field has shifted
03:21: to look at online therapy as a really legitimate resource
03:25: for a lot of people encountering pretty severe mental illness.
03:30: But having said that, if you are a person out there
03:34: and you're having any kind of anxiety, stress, worry, have a low mood sometimes,
03:39: you're having issues in any of your relationships,
03:42: you can't focus at work, you can't sleep because who knows?
03:46: You know, you just have so much stress.
03:48: You are noticing that just like life feels drab or you're stuck in a rut.
03:53: Like all of these things are good and interesting reasons
03:57: to explore something further and go deeper into yourself.
04:02: I think I've also grown a much larger appreciation of having time to be introspective
04:10: and realizing that a lot of us just didn't really do that.
04:13: And the pandemic really changed that for a lot of people
04:16: because we were forced to think inward
04:18: because the outward distractions that we often put ourselves
04:22: in were no longer available to us.
04:25: So we were left with just the walls of our home and what's inside of it.
04:29: And even deeper than the walls of our home
04:31: is the walls of ourselves and trying to break some of that stuff that we had built up to.
04:38: Attempt to do something and realizing it wasn't really working out
04:42: when we couldn't go out to see friends, we couldn't enjoy activities.
04:47: So those are long-winded ways to say that, you know,
04:51: therapy, online therapy can be for anybody.
04:54: If you're looking for increased insight, if you're looking for symptom relief because something is distressing to you,
05:01: or if you're just somebody that needs somebody to talk to,
05:04: and who isn't one of those people,
05:08: then it's certainly a good option to explore.
05:11: Now if you're on the fence and if you're really unsure,
05:13: you don't know about taking a dive into this stuff, you can do some research.
05:18: If you have access to the internet,
05:20: then you can start doing some Googling about what therapy is.
05:24: You can even start doing some searching
05:25: on your specific stuff, like putting in,
05:31: I'm having trouble sleeping.
05:32: My appetite has changed a little bit.
05:34: What kind of therapy might be helpful for me?
05:37: There's gonna be a ton of stuff out there now.
05:40: So starting with some research,
05:41: you can also reach out to therapists
05:44: that you're curious about and have consultation calls with better help.
05:49: You can reach out to our team directly.
05:51: We have a contact form on the website.
05:52: You can email directly contact at betterhelp.com.
05:56: Our teams are here to answer questions,
05:59: help you figure out whether this is the right option for you.
06:02: And we can try to even point you in the direction if you figure that better help
06:05: is not the right direction for you.
06:07: I just want to make sure that people have some sense of being able to find something.
06:13: It can be very overwhelming to know where to start.
06:17: You can just start on Google, really.
06:19: It's just about searching something.
06:21: Well, also, I've been a big fan of BetterHelp and the partnership that we have.
06:25: I'm just a big believer in therapy and making therapy as accessible as possible.
06:31: That's why I think online therapy is powerful because you can do it right from your phone
06:34: or on Zoom or things like that.
06:37: much more convenient. And I think there's something to be said for doing it in the convenience of
06:41: your own home where you feel safe, you feel private, where you save time, not at the drive somewhere.
06:47: And you can really relax in your space, not having to go into someone else's space, which I think
06:53: is really powerful. And we've got an amazing partnership. We've been partnering with better health for,
06:58: you know, many years now. And my, my audience loves it. And if you guys are interested, if you haven't
07:03: signed up yet, you get 10% off the first month. If you go to betterhelp.com slash Lewis,
07:10: that's L-E-W-I-S. So make sure you guys check that out. You can ask questions on there. There'll
07:14: be a contact form on there. There'll be more things you can research at at betterhelp.com slash Lewis
07:20: as well. And if you use that link, you'll get 10% off your first month. And Hesu, I wanted to ask you
07:27: a few more questions. That's okay. We asked our audience to send in some of their biggest
07:32: challenges, their biggest problems, things are going through right now.
07:36: If you can briefly share, then we can kind of have a dialogue about each one if you're
07:41: open to that as well. And this is, this is a question. These are anonymous, but this is a question
07:50: regarding relationships. And this person says, I am four years at post divorce. I've done the work
07:58: I am doing the healing. I am really working on myself. I finally feel like I am in this
08:05: amazing, healthy state, mentally and physically really ready for a committed relationship.
08:12: Yet I still keep attracting men who are not ready for a relationship. And your advice?
08:18: You have any advice on why someone may be attracting others who are not ready for a relationship or or maybe un-non-committed.
08:28: Ooh, this is a juicy one.
08:33: Let's go.
08:33: Because my answer anonymous listener
08:37: might not be super easy to hear.
08:40: Whenever I hear somebody saying,
08:42: like, I keep attracting this kind of person
08:45: or somehow everybody I meet is so and so and so,
08:48: like the common denominator in all of this is you, your listener.
08:55: So, you know, it's, I keep attracting, so what are you doing to attract this particular kind of person?
09:02: You said that you've done all the work, you said that you've done all the healing,
09:07: but there's something about you that you're unaware of that's attracting this particular type of man.
09:14: So it could be that your journey to healing is still in progress, and that's fine.
09:19: You know, we kind of already rift about this healing, alignment, self exploration.
09:26: This is an ongoing thing.
09:28: I think for all of our lives, really, if people are open to that.
09:33: So I think there's a level of self exploration to be done still to figure out what you might be doing
09:39: or how you're presenting into the world that's attracting this kind of man.
09:43: I see you coming in hot with the reality, you know, it's in all the
09:50: previous relationships that I was in that didn't that didn't work out. I was the common denominator,
09:55: you know, there's an I had to look at myself and say why am I attracting these types of
09:59: relationships and I can't point to the finger anywhere else but at myself. And so there's no
10:05: man to blame here. You're attracting these types. I mean, you're going to attract a lot of people
10:10: in general, but if you're allowing yourself to start dating and start having these conversations
10:17: with certain people who are not committed, then you have to ask yourself, why is that happening?
10:21: Why am I taking these steps that are engaging with certain men who are maybe not committed,
10:27: or not open to commitment at this time? And I think that goes back to you because when you are
10:32: when you are loving your life, when you are full of joy and you feel free, you're going to
10:38: attract a lot of people. I mean, people are going to want to be around you. People are going to be around fun, loving, caring, joyful, human beings. That is a
10:46: magnet to all people. Now, it's you being discerning of saying, okay, where is someone else who's a great match for me? Who is someone that is
10:54: aligned with me as opposed to someone that I'm going to have a project and try to help and help coach and help overcome some challenge. And again, that typically comes from
11:03: sometimes I've a wound that we still get to heal within us.
11:07: So again, if you're looking for a clearer direction in your life,
11:10: if you're looking for some healing, if you're looking for just more joy and
11:13: freedom, a piece of mind that I encourage you to go to betterhelp.com slash
11:18: Lewis. Again, you get 10% off the first month when you do that. So you can try it
11:22: for a month and explore it. Check it out. You can find a therapist and you can
11:26: switch. I believe it anytime. So if you're feeling like,
11:29: yeah, maybe this isn't work for me. Let me try someone different. You can do that as well, over at BetterHelp.
11:34: They've got, again, online support.
11:37: So if you have any questions,
11:38: you can ask them questions right on the website, again, betterhelp.com slash Lewis.
11:43: I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
11:47: Make sure to check out the show notes
11:48: in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links.
11:52: And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes
11:55: with me as well as ad-free listening experience,
11:58: make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple Podcast.
12:02: If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend,
12:06: leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis House.
12:13: I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better.
12:18: And if you want more inspiration from our world class guests and content to learn how
12:22: to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the greatness newsletter
12:26: and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.
12:31: And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter.
12:37: Now it's time to go out there and do something great.