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00:34: Hello and welcome back to the Sunday special episode of the U.A. podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham and I'm Jared Freed
00:39: It is so good to be back here with you Jordana. We love a Sunday special, right? Yes
00:44: We love a Sunday special. I'm excited to be back
00:47: We you know, I feel like last episode the Wednesday episode you didn't tell us any
00:51: Europe. My European Europe stuff.
00:54: Travels. It was great.
00:56: Give us the one best thing about that happened in Europe.
00:59: I had a blast. The shows, awesome.
01:02: The shows were amazing.
01:03: It was great to meet our international fan base.
01:06: Oh yeah. I feel like London had to be like ready to go.
01:09: Well, London we have, there's a crew.
01:12: There are people. The British, the Brits are, they want you up live.
01:17: They were asking for.
01:18: Wow. Well, if you want us to come,
01:19: If you want us to come, Jared to come back.
01:21: If you want to dearer, you apply, tell your friends about the show.
01:26: If you don't live in America,
01:27: and even if you do live in the United States, tell a friend, friends with dating issues and problems and brunch table fodder.
01:35: This is where they come.
01:37: And yeah, no, we have an audience.
01:39: I mean, the craziest, all of it was crazy,
01:42: just to be a citizen of the world, so to speak.
01:45: You know?
01:46: It's an international man of mystery.
01:47: That's right.
01:50: Didn't hook up once.
01:52: I thought, and I'm gonna talk about this on our benefits episode, I think.
01:57: Okay, so we'll save.
01:58: If you wanna hear about Jared's hook up, my dry streak, my dry spell.
02:04: Okay.
02:05: I'm gonna make out.
02:06: What was your, okay, you had a make out.
02:08: You got some make out.
02:10: Yeah.
02:11: But really, some people would call that a hook up.
02:13: Not me.
02:15: Some middle schoolers would call that a hook up.
02:17: Yeah, middle school me would be like, yeah!
02:20: High five.
02:22: Crushed it.
02:22: Yeah.
02:23: Jews Condom.
02:26: No, I would say the, you know, basically I'm in Oslo.
02:30: It's the last show of the tour and I had a blast in Oslo the show was great.
02:35: And then I stayed at this nice hotel.
02:37: Oh, I wanna give a shout out.
02:39: Over the moon, vacation.
02:41: Yes, she did my honeymoon.
02:42: She planned your Europe trip.
02:43: My Europe trip, just easy to work with it.
02:46: I would say that their specialty is the hotels.
02:49: Yeah, they're really good at the hotels.
02:50: Especially if you're gonna go to Europe,
02:52: you wanna stay at like, I think like the places they put me,
02:55: I was so happy they were interesting boutique.
02:58: Seek the boutique is my motto for going on a European vacation.
03:03: I agree with that because I think sometimes when you go
03:05: into like a chain type restaurant, right, type,
03:09: even if it's like a really nice part of like,
03:12: whatever the Marriott portfolio is or whatever,
03:15: It still doesn't feel like you're really getting a taste
03:18: for like the city that you're in.
03:19: No, and I would say they're,
03:22: no, in America you can find these,
03:24: but they're harder to find because of the portfolio
03:26: of big time hotels that you talk about.
03:28: But there there's these like family-owned things
03:32: that have been around for a long time,
03:35: and they take, it's just very fine.
03:37: You know, a lot of the, you know, the serials.
03:38: We do details.
03:39: The details, beautiful.
03:41: The details.
03:42: As they say out in Europe.
03:44: So over the moon vacations, go check them out.
03:47: They were fantastic.
03:48: I gave them my tour and I was like, set it up.
03:50: So I'm staying in this really nice hotel in Copenhagen.
03:52: I think it's called the Continental.
03:54: And, you know, I did the first night show.
03:58: And then the second day, I kind of had free and then I was leaving.
04:02: 9 a.m. I'm getting off the elevator.
04:04: Also, shout out to base.
04:07: I don't know if they're sponsoring this episode or not.
04:09: They're definitely doing a bunch of spots throughout time.
04:13: I had my base weekender and the base rolling bag.
04:16: That base rolling bag is great.
04:18: I've used it for every trip I have now.
04:20: In tandem, it was like the tag team.
04:24: It was great.
04:25: And I checked it, didn't check it.
04:27: You can do whatever you want with it.
04:29: Whatever you want.
04:31: Half your way with it.
04:33: So, but I had a lot of stuff.
04:36: It's a three week adventure I was on.
04:38: Yeah.
04:39: So I go, I'm coming out of the elevator and I bump into this woman.
04:44: And she goes one way, I go towards the checkout desk
04:47: and she kinda went on her way
04:50: and then I go to the checkout and then I hear Jared
04:55: and I turn and the woman who almost ran over each other,
04:59: she goes, I listen to the pods.
05:02: Love that.
05:03: And I was like, in Oslo?
05:04: In Oslo.
05:05: Or Copenhagen.
05:06: Oslo, North, okay.
05:08: And I go, she was like,
05:11: She wasn't at the show.
05:12: She's like, what are you doing here?
05:15: For the last person she expected to walk through the door.
05:19: And then she offered me cocaine.
05:22: As everyone who greets you now must do.
05:24: Do not approach Jared in public with
05:26: unless you have a dime bag of cocaine.
05:29: Have it ready.
05:30: What a straw.
05:32: No, she, but it was such a moment of like,
05:35: the world is big and is small.
05:38: You do feel far from home. but also comfy.
05:41: Right.
05:42: And it's just very cool and heartwarming
05:45: to see, to meet people who have been helped by this podcast and.
05:50: Yeah, it's incredible.
05:51: And that know us in Oslo, you're like, what?
05:56: No, it's very surreal.
05:57: I think it's very, very cool.
05:58: Very cool.
05:59: And the shows were great.
06:01: And as a standup, it's just like,
06:05: people are like, is the material work?
06:07: It all fucking works, baby.
06:09: Okay, it works anyway.
06:11: Don't you worry.
06:12: Don't you fucking worry, bring your friends.
06:14: This works everywhere, the theme of relationships and family and all those things that, you know, we all find funny.
06:20: Yeah, you're saying.
06:21: A funny no matter where you go.
06:22: Universally relatable.
06:24: I like to think so.
06:25: Let's get anything else.
06:27: How are you?
06:28: You know, how's a suburban life?
06:31: The suburban life is great.
06:32: All the big update on our benefits episode.
06:36: It might be out already. be out, it's be out tomorrow.
06:39: Okay.
06:40: You get to hear all about that.
06:41: We both are saving our good stuff for the benefits.
06:43: Right.
06:44: Pay up bitches.
06:46: Yeah.
06:47: But for now, let's get into, also if you haven't gotten your tickets for the Philadelphia
06:51: show, which is in like 11 days.
06:54: I don't know.
06:55: Come on.
06:56: Time to buy the tickets.
06:57: We get, yeah, it's enough already.
07:01: But we get excited when the show is like pop it.
07:04: We want to know the people are going and I think when you start, if you're like playing
07:07: on coming, get the tickets now, then let the group chat know, hey, we're going on this fun show.
07:11: The Thursday and June, it's going to be a great time.
07:13: It's going to be a blast.
07:14: You're not at the shore yet.
07:15: You're not heading down to the Margate yet.
07:19: You're not going down the C Isle city yet.
07:21: It's over.
07:22: You're not going to Atlantic City.
07:23: You're not going to wherever the fuck you go.
07:24: It's time to see a show.
07:26: We're going to have a great time.
07:28: I'm going to be chugging faux pas on stage.
07:30: It'll be a blast.
07:31: It's going to be amazing.
07:32: And listen, we were debating between Philly and Atlantic City
07:35: and we wound up wound up going to Philly.
07:37: So don't make us regret this.
07:39: Get those fucking tickets.
07:40: Get those tickets.
07:41: You are betches.co.slaz.upline.
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10:47: Let's go to the email.
10:49: Let's go to the email where the subject is,
10:50: is Jared's 10 month are becoming my reality.
10:54: So I guess to explain this, if anyone's a new listener,
10:57: I am famously known for dating for 10 months
10:59: and then like drifting into the fog.
11:03: Are you, have you done that many times?
11:05: I've done it many times, not so much recently.
11:07: Okay, yeah, you definitely don't do that anymore.
11:09: Not anymore, I've been better about it now.
11:11: I remember in my,
11:12: because when I, when we started this podcast,
11:14: I was like four months into dating Mike
11:15: and you were like, 10 months is when they really decide,
11:18: I'm like, okay.
11:19: Shit.
11:20: I do believe 10 months is like a moment where you go, oh shit.
11:24: Like, you need a two month buffer before the one year anniversary.
11:27: Right.
11:28: You can't do the one you can't do it anymore.
11:30: You can't get too close to one year.
11:32: Right.
11:33: And beware of birthdays, anniversaries, trips, global pandemics, fertilizing your eggs.
11:42: fertilizing your eggs as our friend from Vanderpump knows.
11:47: Yeah, these are all things that, you know,
11:49: I think, and this is kind of the theme of this email,
11:52: is you have to understand that we're not talking about these things.
11:58: This might be the first time the guy you're with has been presented with these things.
12:02: Yeah.
12:03: You know, I think that's a big part of this.
12:05: And listen, I'm gonna reiterate,
12:07: anyone is allowed to leave for any reason at any time.
12:11: Right, but I do think, I remember we went on a batch of party once.
12:14: It was my buddies and I and it was my buddy Thunder Dan.
12:19: Thunder Dan.
12:20: Thunder Dan.
12:21: So Thunder had a batch party in Austin.
12:24: We all go down to Austin, we get a boat on Lake Travis.
12:28: As you do.
12:29: As you do.
12:31: The boat we got from like Craigslist, whatever it was.
12:34: It was not really, it wasn't like big pop as boat company.
12:38: It was like very much.
12:39: Random. with a boat.
12:41: Okay.
12:43: And we pay to flat fee.
12:45: And I think when you're rando with a boat
12:47: with a flat fee, your whole game...
12:51: Get as many people on the boat.
12:53: Or not.
12:54: Leave the dock as little as possible.
12:56: Oh, okay.
12:57: Because gas is a fluctuating cost.
12:59: Right.
13:00: If you use the less gas you lose,
13:02: the more you make on this trip is my assumption.
13:05: What do you not have to do with how many people are coming?
13:07: Other people don't matter.
13:08: So if it's $5,000, you're getting a fixed rate.
13:12: I see.
13:12: So we cheaped out, we get this fixed rate,
13:14: we're living on the boat, the boat smelled like shit.
13:18: And we got partied on this boat.
13:19: And the first day we get to this boat,
13:21: it's kind of rainy, and he's hooked up to the dock,
13:25: and we just partied on the dock.
13:27: And we're having a fun time.
13:29: But there was a point where you're like,
13:31: why haven't we gone into the lake yet?
13:35: We're just attached, we're a buoy.
13:37: We were just sitting there.
13:39: And I was like, what's going on?
13:41: And I remember the boat captain, every time we'd go,
13:45: are we gonna like go out into the lake?
13:48: He'd be like, oh, you guys wanna go in the lake?
13:52: You guys wanna like go out to see you'd act like.
13:55: And then it was just like a room next to the water or anything.
13:59: He couldn't have met, oh, I forgot.
14:01: What?
14:02: Well, like when you're the boat captain.
14:04: What has he even doing there?
14:05: Right.
14:06: And every time.
14:08: Oh, and so then it became a running joke.
14:10: I couldn't stop making fun of this guy.
14:12: Okay.
14:12: Every time, I be like, you want to breathe oxygen?
14:15: Like I kept saying that in front of him.
14:16: Because I was like, this is bullshit.
14:18: He's keeping us on the dock.
14:20: To not wait, you know, he doesn't want to invest more.
14:24: Okay.
14:26: Same with this is how guys do relationships.
14:28: Okay.
14:30: Okay.
14:30: Oh, you want to like move on with life?
14:34: Oh, you want to like get engaged?
14:35: Well, that's not how you run a business as we're about.
14:38: Right.
14:40: It's not how you run a business.
14:41: All right, I'm gonna read it.
14:42: Go for it.
14:44: Dear Jared and Jordana.
14:45: It actually says, dear Jared and Jordana.
14:48: Dead Jared and Jordana.
14:49: Have I died?
14:51: Am I here?
14:52: Dead.
14:53: Dead.
14:54: Have listened to every regular in Benny's episode ever realized and love everything you,
14:59: Benny's at, I've listened to every regular in Benny's episode ever realized and love everything you do.
15:04: I don't feel like it was.
15:06: I think this person has a wrong typing issue.
15:09: Have you, uh, they, now we know why it's 10 months.
15:11: Thank you for making me laugh every week.
15:14: I, 25 and my boyfriend, 29 have been together for about nine months.
15:18: We met at a work party where I apparently asked him to do a shot with me.
15:21: Then proceeded to LinkedIn DM him later that night.
15:24: Interesting.
15:25: Good sense of boundaries.
15:26: Right.
15:27: There are great things are great between us.
15:29: I am historically anxious about attachment and he is secure.
15:32: I've been going to therapy since we started dating so I won't resort back to my petty ways.
15:37: We have so much fun together, have great conversations and he is so good to me.
15:40: I definitely see us with a future ahead and told him a few months ago, I loved him, which left him actually speechless.
15:46: That's good and bad.
15:47: It's weird because she keeps saying things are going incredibly, but then she keeps in
15:50: the same sentences or saying things that are a little alarming to me.
15:54: If you're writing to us, things are not going great.
15:57: Well, here's the thing.
15:58: I told him I loved him a few months ago, which left him speechless,
16:01: but a few months ago, it's three months ago.
16:03: They've been dating for nine months.
16:05: So six months in, if the person you're dating
16:08: says they love you and you're left speechless,
16:11: I find that to be a weird sign.
16:13: It is funny to me that she didn't say,
16:15: I, he didn't say I love you.
16:17: Speechless is like kind of a lip stick on a pig, so to speak.
16:22: It's like, and he was speechless.
16:24: And you're like,
16:26: Like that is you don't say speechless in a negative way, right?
16:30: You know what I mean? There's there's a little bit of marketing going on here. This is like the same story
16:33: She told her mom and he was speechless. Yeah, it's been yeah, this is a weird spin
16:39: Most of his friends are married and engaged and I'm his first longer girlfriend
16:42: He definitely doesn't express his feelings as much as I do but based on actions taking my card of the mechanic when I'm in meetings
16:48: Bringing me lunch giving me work advice inviting this sound like normal every day
16:52: things right inviting me on family trips cooking for me
16:55: et cetera I know how much he cares hold on let me go okay
16:58: we'll keep going to go through the things that he does
17:00: well I can go through the things that he does and I can
17:02: tell you how little they matter okay taking my card of the
17:04: mechanic when I'm in meetings doesn't mean shit that you
17:08: know that that to me does not say I'm ready for the next
17:12: step okay that's right good friend good yeah bringing me
17:16: lunch. So does Door Dash. Giving me work advice. What is he supposed to say if she's
17:23: complaining about work? I guess that's your problem. Right, yeah, what's he supposed to say?
17:29: Inviting me on family trips, okay. Okay, I mean, you know, we've said on this podcast
17:34: many times the social structure, whether fair or not fair, it is what it is for men is
17:40: not the same. Inviting someone on a trip with your family, I would personally take that
17:45: as a move of commitment of some sort.
17:47: I think it means he likes her,
17:49: but it doesn't mean that he is afraid
17:52: of the family going, what happened to someone so?
17:56: Fair, fair.
17:57: Is my point in something that maybe I understand.
18:01: Anyone who would say he brought me on trips,
18:02: I get why they say it.
18:04: I am here to tell you.
18:05: Doesn't mean anything.
18:07: Pump on the brakes.
18:08: Nothing means anything.
18:09: Right.
18:10: Father, my children.
18:11: Well, that's because he has,
18:13: just because he agrees to be the dad of the kids and getting gay.
18:17: That's a good thing.
18:18: Mary does not mean that he's interested in you at all.
18:25: Easy there, big fella.
18:27: Whoa, whoa.
18:30: Oh, there's a very funny thing I think my brothers,
18:32: I'll show it to you after, it's very funny.
18:36: I'm sorry.
18:37: We want the listeners to know.
18:38: I'll find the thing.
18:39: Oh, I'll tell them where to, do you want to see it?
18:41: Yeah, I want to see it.
18:42: Well, Sherrod on the Instagram, it's like a very much in that exact vein.
18:45: The last one on here while you look is cooking for me.
18:48: Okay.
18:49: I don't think that's...
18:50: Yeah, I think that that one's... ...empermatic of whether he feels...
18:55: Here's the thing, when you brought up that you joke about the kids, those keep you stuck.
19:01: I think to a lot of women bringing a guy in a family trip, you are stuck with your family going, what happened to Johnny?
19:09: And that is a stuck for you.
19:11: But not as much for me.
19:13: That's true.
19:14: So I'm saying as far as the sticky, the glue.
19:17: None of these are gluished.
19:18: None of them are gluished.
19:19: Oh well, it's funny.
19:20: Well, this is from my brother DM this to me.
19:23: And it's actually a post from Matchmaker Maria, friend of the pod.
19:26: Friend of the pod, a fob.
19:28: And someone she did post Q&As,
19:29: five months exclusive, met family and friends, good sign.
19:32: And then Matchmaker Maria wrote, but is he your boyfriend?
19:35: And then she said, her next slide is a video, which was a very funny video.
19:38: We'll show it to you now.
19:41: Yeah, I wanted to bring that up. I think we should be hanging out with each other's friends.
19:44: It makes this seem a little more serious than it is, right?
19:47: Because I can be out of here at Boone any moment.
19:49: You've been seeing each other for six months. Are you my boyfriend?
19:53: Yeah.
19:54: Probably by hearing what not.
19:55: Yeah, so it's like, hello, life changing that we made a human or whatever.
20:00: Uh-huh. I'll be home at 5.
20:01: I'm still at home, okay.
20:04: Yeah, I had the picture.
20:05: I get it.
20:08: I think there's an Amy Schumer sketch
20:11: that she kind of did of the other side of it.
20:13: Yeah.
20:14: Where, I don't know, there's, maybe I miss her memory.
20:18: Where she doesn't say who they are.
20:22: And she's like on the deathbed.
20:23: Oh, she's the person.
20:24: Yeah.
20:25: Interesting.
20:26: There was another, she's giving the other side of it maybe.
20:27: I don't want to say that this was,
20:29: no, but I actually like me kind of, like,
20:32: but the idea of like what are we and not admitting to it.
20:35: Yeah, it's not a, you know, he's, he's handed the baby.
20:44: The other day, as she writes, the other day had a quarter-life crisis meltdown to what she was very supportive and comforting during.
20:51: The most emotionally helpful I've seen him.
20:53: That week and we were out with one of my gay best friends and my friend kept drunk and we were referencing our wedding.
21:00: I think the compilation, quote unquote, are wedding.
21:02: I think the compilation of these events made my boyfriend actually think for once about
21:05: what our relationship means to him and where it's going.
21:07: Oh, you want to get married one day?
21:10: Yeah.
21:13: We finally had a real deep conversation about things where he expressed he loved spending
21:16: time with me and cares deeply, but not love, I guess.
21:20: Okay, so he didn't say I love you back then.
21:21: Not as speechless anymore.
21:24: Cares deeply about me and wants us to continue dating so we can ensure emotional compatibility.
21:29: He thinks he's not emotionally giving enough and that I deserve that and also is afraid
21:34: I'm more certain of the relationship than he is.
21:37: I have dated a fair amount and I'm always processing things with my therapist, friends, and family,
21:41: so I'm more certain of what I want generally.
21:43: Would love your take on this.
21:44: We are great together and I've agreed to be more openly communicative about this going forward.
21:49: But I'm worried I'm going to be dropped at any second.
21:51: Thank you.
21:52: Don't tell HR.
21:54: Because they're dating at work.
21:57: Here's what I would say.
21:59: She writes a couple things that I just want to point out.
22:02: I've already pointed out a bunch of things.
22:05: The only kind of thing I want really quickly
22:07: is that anytime someone is having a conversation with you
22:11: and talking about what you deserve, it's over.
22:14: It's over.
22:15: Yeah.
22:15: And because someone who's planning on being with you
22:17: is not talking about all the things that you deserve because there would be the ones
22:20: who would have to do all those things.
22:21: So if you're ever hearing anyone that you're dating,
22:24: say stuff about all the things that you deserve,
22:28: to me, that's a brighting on the wall.
22:30: You gotta pump up the raft before you push it out to see.
22:35: Right, you gotta let it know how great and wonderful they are.
22:37: Yeah.
22:38: Before saying for someone else.
22:40: That's funny, I haven't heard that one before.
22:42: You gotta get a pump pump pump.
22:45: I, yeah, it's not a good sign.
22:47: It's not a good sign.
22:48: You deserve a lot.
22:49: You deserve a lot.
22:51: You deserve something like that.
22:53: Yeah.
22:54: You deserve.
22:55: You do deserve that from someone else.
22:59: Someone should give that to you.
23:01: Ain't gonna be me.
23:02: It's like that Bob Dylan song.
23:04: What's that?
23:05: It ain't me.
23:06: It ain't me.
23:07: It ain't me, baby.
23:08: It ain't me, baby.
23:10: I think another part of this is she says,
23:13: if I'm worried I'm going to be dropped in any second.
23:15: Like, I think that's a rational fear.
23:19: I think it's a rational fear, but it's also like,
23:22: I think she's gonna be dropped in any moment to be totally honest.
23:26: I know, I'm trying to speak to her.
23:28: Like, you know what I mean?
23:30: Like, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I'm like,
23:32: am I gonna be dropped in any second?
23:34: Like, I don't know.
23:37: You've stated what you are and what you want.
23:40: The problem is he's giving her what she wants.
23:43: If she-
23:44: He doesn't want to cut her head off, as we say.
23:46: Right, but he's giving her everything she wants.
23:48: When she writes all these things, she's going, everything's great.
23:50: Like, took my car, you know, like all the, but she's...
23:55: He loves spending time with me and cares deeply, but not love.
23:59: Right.
24:00: I guess my problem is,
24:02: I was like,
24:03: the problem is that he says he wants us to continue dating so we can ensure emotional compatibility.
24:08: Not very sexy.
24:10: Not the most romantic.
24:12: I think it's a little...
24:13: I knew she was the one once I insured compatibility.
24:15: I think he's kicking the can down the road
24:18: so he doesn't have to deal with this right now.
24:20: Right, right.
24:21: Like what will change?
24:23: That's the thing that you have to wonder.
24:25: In what day does he go emotional compatibility achieved?
24:31: Right, I feel for it because the other thing I want to bring up
24:35: is like she's like, I've dated a fair amount,
24:38: always processing things with my therapist, friends, and family.
24:42: So I'm certain of what I want generally.
24:44: And it's like he has not done that.
24:46: Yeah, it's clearly not done that.
24:48: And it is not something we do.
24:53: You know, like there's not this open conversation
24:57: every time I get with my friends of like,
25:00: so are you, what do you think?
25:03: Is he giving you, is she giving you every one thing you need?
25:05: Is she, you do kind of a certain point,
25:08: oh, so you guys are like heading towards it.
25:10: Like that's more of conversation.
25:12: Right, so I do understand the thought of like,
25:16: Well, he's not as versed in this as I am, but I,
25:21: I don't know, I think I'm with you where it's like,
25:23: I don't know.
25:26: The more I watch of this is she goes,
25:28: I mean, when she lists out earlier in this where she says,
25:31: bringing me to meetings, bringing me lunch, you know, work advice, she's like,
25:35: she, that's her saying, I'm getting everything I want.
25:38: Finally.
25:39: Right.
25:39: So it's like, there's nothing here that's wrong other than he's like,
25:42: not certain how long he wants to be with her.
25:45: and saying outright, like I don't, right?
25:47: Well, that's the thing.
25:48: I mean, she could keep, here's the, it really depends on her.
25:52: I know, no, because it's kind of, it's hard to, it's almost harder when it's like your decision.
25:56: Because if she wants, like,
25:57: sounds like she's having a good time, she could keep dating the person.
26:00: She's 25 years old.
26:02: If you waste three months more of her time,
26:03: like, it's not the big of a deal.
26:05: It's not wasting, if she's having fun,
26:07: it's not a waste of her time, right?
26:08: When she gets to the point where she's like,
26:10: I wanna know that the person I'm with
26:13: takes this more seriously, sees this going somewhere
26:15: or else I would like to find someone who is, then she can do that.
26:19: She doesn't, unless she wants that right now,
26:25: and that she might, I think there's nothing wrong with that,
26:27: but there's also nothing wrong with saying,
26:28: I'm having a good time,
26:31: if he decides in a few months that he doesn't wanna be with me, then that's also fine.
26:36: Like, then she, with her staying in it,
26:38: I think it's more if she doesn't,
26:40: if the possibility of being with someone
26:42: for a longer period of time than this.
26:44: And it ending with him saying, yeah, I've thought about it.
26:46: I actually don't really feel like I can get there.
26:48: Like if she can imagine that situation
26:50: three, six months a year down the line
26:52: and how she might feel about that.
26:54: And it's not that bad, then let it go.
26:57: Here's my feedback to that.
27:00: I agree with you.
27:02: I think, I'm trying to think like what I would respond to.
27:05: If you were him.
27:06: If I were him.
27:08: I would have said the same thing as him.
27:10: Which is like kind of nothing.
27:12: Kind of nothing.
27:13: Right, right.
27:14: And this is a lot of the, like if I was to give the tools
27:18: to the women looking to get answers to their questions.
27:21: My biggest advice is to stop sitting in this hypothetical world.
27:26: Because right now this is, like I'm trying to think of,
27:29: like how would I, nine months in?
27:33: Do I want marriage and kids of course?
27:37: I gotta see if we're emotionally compatible.
27:40: Do you know what I mean?
27:41: Like, that's so far off.
27:43: I think if you really want an answer's, what's the next thing you want?
27:49: Like, do you wanna move in together?
27:51: Move in, or maybe it's just a trip.
27:54: Sure.
27:55: Like, because I...
27:56: What do you want that you're not getting?
27:57: Menor fixers, I, you know.
27:59: But I can also see wanting assurance that you take this relationship seriously.
28:03: Well, it comes with that in mind.
28:06: You know, moving in is a version of seriously.
28:09: So like moving in would be a better one than a trip.
28:12: But if you said, let's take it down to a trip.
28:14: You're six months in.
28:15: You really like this person.
28:17: You guys are boyfriend and girlfriend.
28:18: You've said I love you.
28:19: You've got nothing back.
28:21: It's their spatula.
28:22: Yeah. How about it?
28:23: I love you.
28:25: Yeah, I love you.
28:26: It was a very physical, tangible thing.
28:28: Yeah, some people would break up with someone
28:29: after nine months if they didn't say I love you and it wouldn't be that crazy.
28:32: Not crazy at all.
28:33: And I think to question them on it,
28:36: so have you said I love you to anyone before?
28:39: Like I think you gotta stay in the tangible.
28:41: Right.
28:42: She is, and the tangible she's using that we've already refuted are things
28:48: that an assistant could do for you.
28:50: Right.
28:51: If Dore DASH can do it, it's not important.
28:54: Well here's the other thing.
28:55: It's like some people just do,
28:56: most people take those things to mean they're about them.
28:59: And some people, like you said,
29:01: Some people would take you, if they were dating you,
29:03: you introducing them to your friends as a big thing, right?
29:06: But to you, you do that with everyone, so it's not a big thing.
29:09: So it's not like, why would he do this?
29:11: It's like, why does he do that?
29:12: Why does he do that?
29:13: Why does he do this to me versus why does he do that?
29:16: Something to do with her.
29:17: Like, he might just be a guy who is like, helpful to anyone that he's with,
29:20: he's gonna take their card to the mechanic.
29:22: He's gonna cook for them,
29:23: because that's just kind of like what he does.
29:25: It does nothing to do with you or not you.
29:28: We talk a lot about the reveal.
29:29: A certain reveal would go, when you brought my car the mechanic, you don't understand how much that means to me.
29:36: That is like something that like my husband will do. Right. I don't think that's a crazy thing to say to someone.
29:42: To let them know what things mean to you, that's a reveal.
29:47: Or what things that they're not doing mean to you. When I said I love you and you didn't say it back,
29:52: it made me think you're not really necessarily particularly committed to this relationship.
29:56: right what what makes you what what what what does love mean to you yeah that's a
30:02: good one what does love mean to you lean to you it feels like a song what's love got to do what's love got to do with it got to do with it what's love of the second hand and move.
30:16: Is that Tina Turner?
30:18: Tina Turner.
30:19: Great song.
30:20: Oh my God.
30:21: Wait, what?
30:23: Is this awkward?
30:23: Come on, really?
30:25: An hour ago?
30:27: That's really weird that we just happened to sing this song.
30:31: Like while we were recording, am I dead Jared?
30:35: Are you a medium?
30:36: What's going on?
30:37: That's crazy.
30:39: I don't mean to be a guy in the world.
30:40: That's really not trying to be medium.
30:43: We didn't know that I didn't know that happened. What's that?
30:47: That's shocking
30:49: That's very random. I definitely did not know that. Oh, what's got love got to
30:54: So so talented
30:57: How old 83 I mean
31:03: I thought she was younger than that right let's see her a certain way still but she had a good life
31:10: She lived a long life
31:12: Jordan is gonna be speaking at Tina Turner's funeral.
31:17: I mean.
31:20: Weird, this is weird.
31:21: No, that is very weirdly coincidental
31:23: because it's not like we've ever mentioned
31:24: Tina Turner at all during this podcast ever.
31:26: Ever.
31:27: In five years.
31:28: I am speechless.
31:30: Just like this guy.
31:33: We couldn't say I love you.
31:35: And this episode is dedicated to Tina Turner.
31:38: That's right.
31:39: I don't know if she wanted it.
31:40: YouTube with that like the with the name and the years memoriam put it on the
31:46: YouTube. Yeah, I just think she needs to get more this person needs to get more
31:53: tangible and asky. Yes. And get in there. You got to like kind of try and scare them away.
32:01: Yeah, and here's the thing like if you make it through those conversations your
32:05: relationships going to be a lot better. Right. You're negotiating around them.
32:08: You're negotiating.
32:08: The best way out is through.
32:09: That's one of the best pieces of advice that I've ever gotten.
32:13: It's the best way out.
32:14: Most people think the best way out is like around.
32:16: The best way, fastest way, most growthful way out is through the issue.
32:22: That's right.
32:23: I think we helped her.
32:24: I think we did too.
32:25: I think we helped Tina turn.
32:28: No, we didn't help Tina.
32:29: We didn't help her at all.
32:30: Good luck to the Fterner family.
32:32: We wish you the best.
32:34: I even saw that movie.
32:35: What was the movie called? but she was about her life.
32:39: It's called what's love got to do with it.
32:41: Anybody?
32:42: Yeah.
32:43: It was a good movie.
32:44: Has time turned?
32:45: The Tina Turner star?
32:47: Simply the movie.
32:48: There's a movie that was about a movie.
32:52: Lots of movies they know about it.
32:54: Oh, it is called what's love got to do.
32:55: Good movie.
32:56: Good movie.
32:56: Anyway.
32:58: We're back on Wednesday.
33:04: The U.A. podcast is produced by Sean Kilby.
33:06: Maddie Paul and Jorge Morales Pico.
33:09: Editing by Jorge Morales Pico.
33:11: Social media by Maddie Paul.
33:13: Be sure to follow at you.up.podcast on Instagram
33:17: and send us your emails to uup at Beaches.com. ations.
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